Shiny......

Last night we went to see the midnight screening of serenity and it was even better than I thought it was going to be...the movie was shiny, spectacular and great and awsome, and fantastic and all these things and more.......I can not...words can not it was sooo good everyone must go see it as soon as they are able...go see it go see it now!!!!!!!!
The midnight screening was fun also cause it was a whole cinema full of nerds laughing and cheering and stuff...it was kinda cool but also reminicent of revenge of the nerds in a weird way......I think had anyone heckeled they would have been lynched.......

Am taking my car into a mechanic who specialises in old cars today to see if they can help for less than the 1500 dollars the other mechanic people want for repairs......I suspect I am going to have to accept that the car is bunk and will need to be retierd to the wreckers next month.....*sigh*

Finally got in touch with M, been trying for over a week, he once again had dissapeared of the face of the planet.....He had a bad time with his ex and was hidding from the world...he feeling a bit better but still kinda messed up.......situation with me and him still incredibly depressing and miserable *sigh* it sucks that I am always falling for men who are messed up and just dont feel the same way for me......I care about him so much but I just dont know anymore if I can do this....if I can stand doing this to myself again......my friends get mad at hims but its not really his fault...well not all of it...as far as I know not being madly in love with me is still not a capital offence...although personally I feel it should at least warrant a misdemenour.......*sigh* hope things get better for him soon......and for me.....holiday will help holiday will help....this is my mantra.

cheers
jinx
xxx

University procrastination and reruns of charmed....

Am feeling really up tight tonight as I procrastinate on my university assignment by watching the first season of charmed...(forgot how bad the show was when it started..still amusement value is high) I got tickets to serenity next week and was really excited about it until I realized that people in this town cant seem to manage to stay out after midnight during a week day...first matt says he cant come cause its at midnight and he has to work the next day...everyone who is going including myself has to work the following morning..in fact I have to be up at 6.30 and am still going...then my girlfriend Win says she wont go cause its too late...I already have tickets and have paid for them..it's very frustrating to find that people wont even come out when its a paid ticket!!!!!! Thankfully D came to the rescue by saying she would come with me....next time there is something fun happening in this place I will remember to ensure it is before bed time for you slack southerners :P

Any who not much else..am really excited about serenity and hope it will be good, charmed re runs are going strong and still have mass amounts of work to do...this diagnosis is taking ages and is driving me nuts...have decided I loath my lecturer for this assignment.....

Coastal trip is shaping up well I put my travel bag on layby today and am starting to make decisions about what is going into storage and what is not, whats to go and whats to be chucked, I am really looking forward to it..its going to be a coastal adventure to ease my heart...i am hoping that a few weeks of sand, sun, and drinks at sunset, living a single and carefree holiday lifestyle will aid in helping me over this crappy heart ache and break that I know is going to hurt like hell but am confident that forced fun at extreme levels will assist in the healing process!

Should prob sleep as this uni work still requires attention and so I must get up early and work hard.... ;) yeah right...well i'll try anyway.
Night all..even you slackers that cant party after cinderella's hour has passed :P

Cheers
Jinx
xxx

Pirates....life and serenity..

Decided I should make a seconf blog today so that those of you who care will not feel to dispondent by my heart break...things in life continue despite the heart ache....on the weekend I went to a pirate ball and had a fantastic time..I dressed as a pirate wench (costume provided by Winnie's closet - thanks babexx) and I have to say I think I make a damn fine wench..I have finally found the reason for my breasts..they are for dressing as a pirate wench..if only society would allow me to wear this costume everywhere I doubt I would ever take it off! I still however suck at dancing unless guided by a strong partner..thankfully there were a few of those in attendence, I will be taking lessons before mext months gala pride and prejudice affair. I had much fun with miss D and despite the bad food catastrophy and the pubity boys drool squad who invited me home the even was a success.

Working still for my unusual boss and as yet have not thrown anything at him.....I remain cautious as to whether this will continue...;)

Took car to mr mechanic who says she is dying...will need to put out of misery next month..so that was a short adventure..however I will remain mobile till she is retired on the 19th Oct, am thinking I may hold somekind of ceremony..possbily involving a final dinner and balloons....thoughts on this?????

Spoke to Dave today he is getting tickets for the midnight showing of serenity on wed next week..I am very excited..so excited I got him to get two tickets....hmmm who to ask??? who to ask???? ...hmmm difficult choice.......I am open to bribery :)

Well thats about it uni is still there ( I know cause I checked) assignments late as always..still not long now and then once this year is done big beach party coastal trip adventure will begin.....still working on the name of this crazy trip but you get the idea..much sun, much sand, much fun....too much fun some may say and I may regret in the post trip days..but adventure will be had and heart will be mended.

Cheers and with love always
Jinx

Strange times and troubled thoughts..

Hi everyone sorry its been a while things have been...difficult, I guess that could discribe it. My life seems to constantly feel like a roller coaster, this situation is no ones fault other than mine and I walked into with eyes wide open, I have done the same thing here as I did with Jay..the same stupidity that led me to leave my home and try to start again in a new place...shall I keep doing this over and over..will I now have to run again because I always find myself falling for the ones to whom I will never be more than a temporary relief whilst they wait till they find the person they really want to be with. I am tierd of always feeling like I'm second best, the one others settle for....no one should feel that way, no one should settle for being the fill in and yet I do all the time, I choose men that wont love me, men that cant love me, I choose men who are already broken, men who without wanting to will break my heart over and over again. If I could understand why I do this to myself, Lol my friend was telling me about how he is aware of his issues do do with love and trust and even aware he can not prevent himself from reacting to them..this blog is for you....I guess everyone has their own unique set of issues that awareness does not a damn thing for. I am hopeful that one day my heart will make a wise choice as to where it wants to be... a choice that wont end up with me running all over again. So cheers my friends and raise your glasses to a toast for new beginnings (again!!!) and new choices.
xxx
Jinx (well an truely deserving of the name)

Is there no decency left?

Can you believe some jerk spamed my blog with info about some stupid auto club in San Fransico on the same blog entry where I write about Bron's death...I am so disgusted by this do people have no decency left...thanks for your comments polly they were great...I posted a comment on the ceiling fan site of our spam blogger to ask them not to do that again..I just can not believe someone would do that, sure it was prob automatic and they did not even read the post they commented on but even so it is crass and unkind and even without the recent tragedy it would have been rude. Anyway am feeling pretty crap still I cant go to the funeral which is on friday and am now just trying hard to hanf on till the end of the year when I can go home, also think I have lost my job cause my boss has not called me.....he is mad cause i have been sick for two weeks and not able to go ro work...screw it and screw him I just dont need this crap...other stuff also now an issue in my life that causes much grief but i cant blog about it yet cause people who read my blog will be upset....it is frustrating. I should go now am too depressed to keep writing.

......

Recieved news last night from home one of our dearest family friends..I think I have blogged about her before..Bron...passed away yesturday afternoon from terminal cancer. My whole life she has been there past of my life and my families lives and no she is gone...and I did not go to visit in the mid year like I had planned and now I will not get the chance to see her again. Things are bad really bad right now and the people I most want to be with are too far away to be with, I am going home in two months time and I am just not sure anymore whether I even really want to come back here....I just..I dont even know how to write about this.

Road Trip Apathy, the chaos of Life and the Greatness that is Emma!

This blog is a special blog of thankyou to Miss Emma for being so great as to give me her car when she got a new one! I am mobile again after nearly a year without a vehicle and it is fantastic...went on the road trip from hell on saturday with winnie and james to pick the car up and drive it back to Canberra...Hmmm perhaps I should start at the beginning!

Original plan was to get a lift with Christopher on Friday afternoon and drive back friday night but it was mutually decided by those around me that this was a crazy plan of maddness and death as there would be no one to help if it broke down and the forcast was for storms! Common sense after a difficult battle finnaly beat fly by seat of pants plan into submission and it was decided to go in james car on saturday morning so he could follow me back...it was also decided I should drive part way there to get used to driving again this meant james navigated....Big Mistake....we got lost and lost again and then lost some more while I tried hard not to panic about sydney traffic (even on outskirts this is scary for me) Evenetuallly we made our destination after much detouring and laughter had ensued.
On the trip back I took the wrong turn off and we ended up eating dinner in Gouldburn at a truck stop with the most apathetic waitress I have ever encountered...being a waitress myself for many years I can empathise with apathy, but this truely was the most extreme case I have come across...it took me a while torealise she was actually alive and not an automated service...I am unsure if written words can do justice to this experience but trust me it was something special....speaking of special after comming home safe delaing with the horror of mounting debt in the form of a new phone bill awaiting my return I left to drop Winnie home it was around 11 and I had been on the road since about 11 that morning. I made a pretty special mistake..two whopping great big ones right in front of a police car!
I was turning at the lights and followed the dotted line around the bend and straight into the oncoming traffic's turning lane....quickly realizing my perfectly understandable mistake I turned the car and drove across the middle nature strip onto the correct side of teh road, then noticed police lights and thought better stop quick here is a driveway I'll just pull in and wait.....failing to see the no entery BUS exit ramp sign carefully concealed in plain sight just to my left! Then just to make my horror complete a bus came wanting to exit the interchange!
The police were very nice and gave me a cautionary letter with the advice to read road rules for ACT book...I think they felt sorry for the 'special' queenslander with drivers anxiety.
Dropped Winie home and thought my night would end there but not for this duck..went to civic to pick up a friend and visit a horse and then a couple of hourse later at the lovely time of 2ish was brushing my teeth at home when I noticed water at my feet collecting in pool...the bathroom has now apparently joined the other areas of my chaotic evil house in its attempt to drive me crazy...and of course this can not possibly be my fault but as it happened while I was the one brushing my teeth am certain G will find a way to cast blame on me for it..as with the Video player, remote control, dryer, and anything else that has died since I moved into the house!
Any how better go am annoying Jimmy while he tries to work....hope everyone having fun on various holiday adventures!
Cheers
Jinx
xxx