Strange times and troubled thoughts..

Hi everyone sorry its been a while things have been...difficult, I guess that could discribe it. My life seems to constantly feel like a roller coaster, this situation is no ones fault other than mine and I walked into with eyes wide open, I have done the same thing here as I did with Jay..the same stupidity that led me to leave my home and try to start again in a new place...shall I keep doing this over and over..will I now have to run again because I always find myself falling for the ones to whom I will never be more than a temporary relief whilst they wait till they find the person they really want to be with. I am tierd of always feeling like I'm second best, the one others settle for....no one should feel that way, no one should settle for being the fill in and yet I do all the time, I choose men that wont love me, men that cant love me, I choose men who are already broken, men who without wanting to will break my heart over and over again. If I could understand why I do this to myself, Lol my friend was telling me about how he is aware of his issues do do with love and trust and even aware he can not prevent himself from reacting to them..this blog is for you....I guess everyone has their own unique set of issues that awareness does not a damn thing for. I am hopeful that one day my heart will make a wise choice as to where it wants to be... a choice that wont end up with me running all over again. So cheers my friends and raise your glasses to a toast for new beginnings (again!!!) and new choices.
xxx
Jinx (well an truely deserving of the name)