Sadness...and then some.
Hi everyone this is just a blog of sadness...a dear family friend who has been in my life since before I was born is dying, we have known for a while that she and her husband another very dear family friend both have terminal cancer, but recently we learned that it has spread further and is now in her brain, she has gotten a lot sicker and it may be nearing the end....I guess we should feel blessed she has outlived her prognosis as has her husband, they are both living on borrowed time and at some point that will stop...I just feel so sad...I cry alot lately about it...it makes me scared too, cause it highlights how temporary living really is...I dont really know how to deal with this....maybe crying is about all I can do.
Things here are pretty shitty aswell...thought I knew where I stood with the friend I'd been sleeping with...I thought we were friends for a start but he starting being a bit of a jerk, then being sorry, then being a jerk, then being sorry, you can all see the pattern here...anyway something must have happened cause I said enough or else....well lack of response on his part indicates that he is fine with the or else part of that...called him to try get his things back to him and he said no response did not mean no caring or that he wanted end..then says cant get into this right now...I just hung up...no further word....sent message saying ok are we friends??? No word. Guess I dont warrent a reply. Its stupid that it hurts cause everyone saw it coming even me...but I guess when your ego takes a hit it hurts.....I am very sad by it cause I thought I saw something special in him..something I could relate too, I thought we would be good friends cause we understood each other....sadly I guess was wrong.
Lol at least i'm keeping form for those amongst you feel my taste in men could use some serious repair.....however I ask that you keep your I told you so's to yourself.....I dont want to hear it...there is nothing so spiteful as the self rightous I was right speach.
just needed to get that off my chest....okay on to other stuff now
Got a new phone thats fun it takes pictures and everything....Ooooh I hear you say...yes Ooooh indeed..it is possible the coolest phone I have ever seen...definetly the coolest thing I have owned in a while.....although I did get some extremely funky pressies from our returning heros from china...a very very beautiful scarf..almost too pretty to wear..almost! and a very funky heaty thingy that you press a button in and gel heats up to make a heat pack...then when you done you boil it and it returns to gel....very handy for sporting nights!!!
What else..read the new potter...hmmmmm well not sure if I should comment on that!
Oh remember when my camera go broken and then I sent it off to be magically made better by the camera wizards interstate?? Well got a package from them today....it was toast even thier impressive array of repair skills were insufficient to mend my poor little camera..so they sent me another one...different model..newer model..swanky...very very swanky...except I have no idea how to use it and it is a lot smaller than my other one was, lighter too so I feel like i'm going to break it even when I'm just holding it in my hands.
Leg feeling a bit better..stings when I walk on it too long....supposed to work friday...hmm hope it is ok and not too painful....have to see the doctor again tommorow so he can check it and give me all clear (hopefully) to go back to work....also got to ask what this whole BMI stuff is about cause frankly I think its stupidest thing I have ever heard of..and nutrition australia can quote me on that.....doubtful they would want to given its endorsed by them!
Anyway I'm going to bed now should try to sleep a bit so I can be up early.....times like these I need broadband and large sums of money so I can play games all night instead of sleeping and encountering either scary, sad, or just plain wierd dreams!
Oh yeah also have decided to start writting again....wont finish the book cause now the flow is gone and the first 3 quaters is nothing like what I try to write now..but not going to let that stop me writting all together...will just have to start something new....anyway now set aside one night a week where I dont study, or watch tele or visit with friends...its my creative time...it will be good to be writting again and usually it helps with my real life too..makes me a little ..hmm I dont know those of you who write or create in some way will know what I mean....goodnight everyone..thanks for the vent.
Jinx
xxx
Things here are pretty shitty aswell...thought I knew where I stood with the friend I'd been sleeping with...I thought we were friends for a start but he starting being a bit of a jerk, then being sorry, then being a jerk, then being sorry, you can all see the pattern here...anyway something must have happened cause I said enough or else....well lack of response on his part indicates that he is fine with the or else part of that...called him to try get his things back to him and he said no response did not mean no caring or that he wanted end..then says cant get into this right now...I just hung up...no further word....sent message saying ok are we friends??? No word. Guess I dont warrent a reply. Its stupid that it hurts cause everyone saw it coming even me...but I guess when your ego takes a hit it hurts.....I am very sad by it cause I thought I saw something special in him..something I could relate too, I thought we would be good friends cause we understood each other....sadly I guess was wrong.
Lol at least i'm keeping form for those amongst you feel my taste in men could use some serious repair.....however I ask that you keep your I told you so's to yourself.....I dont want to hear it...there is nothing so spiteful as the self rightous I was right speach.
just needed to get that off my chest....okay on to other stuff now
Got a new phone thats fun it takes pictures and everything....Ooooh I hear you say...yes Ooooh indeed..it is possible the coolest phone I have ever seen...definetly the coolest thing I have owned in a while.....although I did get some extremely funky pressies from our returning heros from china...a very very beautiful scarf..almost too pretty to wear..almost! and a very funky heaty thingy that you press a button in and gel heats up to make a heat pack...then when you done you boil it and it returns to gel....very handy for sporting nights!!!
What else..read the new potter...hmmmmm well not sure if I should comment on that!
Oh remember when my camera go broken and then I sent it off to be magically made better by the camera wizards interstate?? Well got a package from them today....it was toast even thier impressive array of repair skills were insufficient to mend my poor little camera..so they sent me another one...different model..newer model..swanky...very very swanky...except I have no idea how to use it and it is a lot smaller than my other one was, lighter too so I feel like i'm going to break it even when I'm just holding it in my hands.
Leg feeling a bit better..stings when I walk on it too long....supposed to work friday...hmm hope it is ok and not too painful....have to see the doctor again tommorow so he can check it and give me all clear (hopefully) to go back to work....also got to ask what this whole BMI stuff is about cause frankly I think its stupidest thing I have ever heard of..and nutrition australia can quote me on that.....doubtful they would want to given its endorsed by them!
Anyway I'm going to bed now should try to sleep a bit so I can be up early.....times like these I need broadband and large sums of money so I can play games all night instead of sleeping and encountering either scary, sad, or just plain wierd dreams!
Oh yeah also have decided to start writting again....wont finish the book cause now the flow is gone and the first 3 quaters is nothing like what I try to write now..but not going to let that stop me writting all together...will just have to start something new....anyway now set aside one night a week where I dont study, or watch tele or visit with friends...its my creative time...it will be good to be writting again and usually it helps with my real life too..makes me a little ..hmm I dont know those of you who write or create in some way will know what I mean....goodnight everyone..thanks for the vent.
Jinx
xxx
posted by jinx at 1:01 AM
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