Update
Okay so its prob time I did a real update for those of you not currently hanging with me much.
A few weeks ago Matt decided we should forget about our relationship because I had phoned his parents to leave a message for me...He got very angry and his parents had no clue who I was, it beacme fairly obvious that there is alot about Matt that he has not felt able to share with me...my mum thinks he is prob married...I doubt it cause he was with me for a while and that is one big lie..but whatever it is there is something in his life that means I just cant be a part of it...I was angry and hurt at first and then I decided I was hanging on to something that was never really there in the first place...I replied to his suggestion of forgetting the whole thing with an email saying I agreed with him, loved him and wished him the best.
I love him that has not changed and I hope that he is at least happy where ever he is, or if not happy then trying to be because he is a beautiful man that I loved greatly but sadly it just was not there, I think or at least I like to think he loved me in his own way anyway whatever and where ever his life takes him I wish him well.
A short while after the initial email from him I also lost my job and having never been fired before got greatly distressed about it not to mention the financial dramas this created. I was fired for breeching company policy, its was policy that I not buy shoes from mysels..I did so I was fired...three days after a new promotion and salary increase by 5000 dollars..hmmm...I think there are some communication issues within the company...But in the end I did the wrong thing and broke the policy so fair enough...It turned out to be the greates blessing in disguise...after the first few days unemployed I emailed Matt and ended it for me so it was a low time and for a while it was touch and go as to whether I would make it through intack..I did...I have become a better person though this as had this happened a year or so ago I would have run..just packed and left not to return as I have done so many times in the past...this time I did not...despite the depression and yuckiness that comes with it I stayed and I am proud of that.
I could not have managed without my housemates and friends, Mark, Danica, and Alex have been nothing but supportive and loving to me in this time taking care of me physically, emotionally and financially I am deeply in thier debt and somehow thank you just does not seem sufficient. My friends and the group I play sport with and hang with have been amazing in turning this situation around for me....I am happy and can not really remember a time in the last 6 years or so when I was this happy.
I am a very lucky person to have this support in my life.
My parents and family have been a rock for my life always and were no different this time..thier support for my decisions allows me to cope when things are bad.....
Anyway thats about it....I am here and I am happy...I am also working again at a job I really love and have returned to the social work/community development area, its only temp at the momment admin support but it is great the people are fantastic and work is rewarding emotionally and financially...Hooray...
Thanks to the readers
Jinx
A few weeks ago Matt decided we should forget about our relationship because I had phoned his parents to leave a message for me...He got very angry and his parents had no clue who I was, it beacme fairly obvious that there is alot about Matt that he has not felt able to share with me...my mum thinks he is prob married...I doubt it cause he was with me for a while and that is one big lie..but whatever it is there is something in his life that means I just cant be a part of it...I was angry and hurt at first and then I decided I was hanging on to something that was never really there in the first place...I replied to his suggestion of forgetting the whole thing with an email saying I agreed with him, loved him and wished him the best.
I love him that has not changed and I hope that he is at least happy where ever he is, or if not happy then trying to be because he is a beautiful man that I loved greatly but sadly it just was not there, I think or at least I like to think he loved me in his own way anyway whatever and where ever his life takes him I wish him well.
A short while after the initial email from him I also lost my job and having never been fired before got greatly distressed about it not to mention the financial dramas this created. I was fired for breeching company policy, its was policy that I not buy shoes from mysels..I did so I was fired...three days after a new promotion and salary increase by 5000 dollars..hmmm...I think there are some communication issues within the company...But in the end I did the wrong thing and broke the policy so fair enough...It turned out to be the greates blessing in disguise...after the first few days unemployed I emailed Matt and ended it for me so it was a low time and for a while it was touch and go as to whether I would make it through intack..I did...I have become a better person though this as had this happened a year or so ago I would have run..just packed and left not to return as I have done so many times in the past...this time I did not...despite the depression and yuckiness that comes with it I stayed and I am proud of that.
I could not have managed without my housemates and friends, Mark, Danica, and Alex have been nothing but supportive and loving to me in this time taking care of me physically, emotionally and financially I am deeply in thier debt and somehow thank you just does not seem sufficient. My friends and the group I play sport with and hang with have been amazing in turning this situation around for me....I am happy and can not really remember a time in the last 6 years or so when I was this happy.
I am a very lucky person to have this support in my life.
My parents and family have been a rock for my life always and were no different this time..thier support for my decisions allows me to cope when things are bad.....
Anyway thats about it....I am here and I am happy...I am also working again at a job I really love and have returned to the social work/community development area, its only temp at the momment admin support but it is great the people are fantastic and work is rewarding emotionally and financially...Hooray...
Thanks to the readers
Jinx
posted by jinx at 5:12 PM
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