Feelings of frustration and down right crankyness

I am graduating soon and noone who I thought would be sharing the occassion with me will be making an appearence...I will have no family there and am surprised by the fact that the people I had thought of as the friends who would take that role will also not be joining me......Win and Dan will accompany me and I am greatful for thier support......I am frustrated and confussed by the people here.....people seem to be avoiding me since the weekend....which i had forgotten about by the afternoon as it is a game A GAME just a frelling GAME.....I apologised to G about how his game went down...not because i feel responsible but because I am genuinely sad that it went bad.......feelings were hurt inadvertantly and that sucks but my feelings were also hurt....pulled out of game and this is prob for best as my new job starts next week and i will be working weekends...perhaps it is time i took a break from a few other things also......prob need to take some time away and clear my head.....feeling stretched and unhappy.........on a brighter side my new job starts monday and even though i am nervous it will be good to not be worrying about money again.....on a darker side am unwell again.....*sigh*.....i hope it passes soon......the doctor says its stress that is causing the pain and tummy dramas....and just to make me feel that little bit more special he wants to do another scrape of my cervix....just my luck :( Still at least that should be worth a lolly pop....maybe two if he decides a biopsy is required......honestly my vagina is really not that interesting i wish they would stop worrying about it.......
My life is confussing and sometimes downright mixed and messed up...but never mind at least it is always interesting....i have been missing my family alot lately and i guess feeling kinda sooky.....been seeing m a bit and trying to help him in anyway i can...but i think he is right...i am too nice to him..and need to learn to say no.....i would but sometimes it feels like he is the only one who gets me...sad huh......Dan finally had a couple of dates with the nice boy Jon.....although she kinda blew me off for him this evening which is uncool...but understandable......Win has been out with some cool people lately and am glad...although missing her a bit.....will be spending plently of time with her soon as her family have said i can stay when i am working and invited me to stay over christmas.....am pleased cause i was feeling down about not going home and spending christmas without my family.........still feel down but this will be an adventure I am sure.....

Bela been bummed out lately so we having a special tom cruise christmas party for him to cheer him up.....we have to dress as a tom cruise character and watch tom cruise movies and we are not allowed to bag tom cruise for the whole night.....should be interesting :)

Gamed today,,,James Game...was much fun....James and Magita and Catarina came round again thius evening and we hung...was glad to see them...Cat always cheers me up....well gues thats it.....Amy will be calling soon to see if i want to go out in about an hour...i think i will....

Jinx
xxxx